im in a kiddie pool, high, with a keg in arms reach. If i had a sandwich and a blowjob this would be the best day ever
I can tuck mytits in my pants
Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
It's blow job season.
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
All I wanted to do was come home from work and masturbate for national sex day... I sliced my the tip of finger giving myself a pedicure so I can’t even do that #singlelife
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