did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
final count. 18 beers. 4 shots baileys. 2 shots vodka. 1 glass champagne. vomited in the yard after losing my phone in a field for 8 hours. Possibly played tag with myself
no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
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