hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
Randomize
