Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
You left your Xanax bottle in my car. Why is the label all smudged?
I spilled wine on it.
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Randomize
