hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
I need you to know that everytime my toddler does the downward facing dog in the nude I think about the night you and your dude fell in love.
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
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