I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
Randomize
