she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
I don't care if we're married you can't just walk into the bedroom with a pizza box expecting to get laid
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
Randomize
