I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
You woke up, looked straight at me and screamed "fuck barbara streisand!" and passed out again
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
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