remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
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