after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
Randomize
