I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
im as drunk as the barefoot contessa. GET TO MY LEVEL
dude. stop pregaming the food network.
Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
Randomize
