I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
i can't believe i had my finger in that
One of my bosses just told me she's having communication problems because mercury is in retrograde this month. I think she's serious.
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
When did angry sex become our thing?
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
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