If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
Don't drink and shop. I went for happy hour and came home with a fog machine. I now have no other choice but to scare the shit out of my neighbors with it.
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
These tits shall not be calmed
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
Randomize
