he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
In case this wasn't clear when i said being his wingman was "hopeless", his date walked out on him when he poured a beer on his head trying to shotgun it
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
Randomize
