is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
Randomize
