so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
My mom just drunk texted me complaining about her genitals smelling like Taco Bell. I really am her son
I feel like I got hit by a truck. And I vaguely remember getting into an argument with a passive aggressive Ron Burgundy in a onesie- grown man, not a baby- about the pronunciation of New Orleans
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
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