help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
Drunk me really needs to stop 1. telling every attractive dude in a relationship that monogamy isn't real 2. Proposing threesomes with them and their girlfriends
Randomize
