Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
He asked me if my princess crown was real and before I could say yes, he was already reaching to put it on. I'm pretending I'm asleep if he tries to have sex.
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
Randomize
