I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
i just woke up naked on my porch, holding the neighbors cat in my arms.
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
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