You know the guy who poops at a party and then leaves and you go in, do your business, and come out and there are girls outside that think you pooped and no one talks to you? I'm the guy who poops before you go in, because I'm in a relationship and I hate you.
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
I woke up and found my apartment really clean, appearantly drunk me couldn't tolerate living there anymore and left sober me a lot of insulting post-its...
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
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