i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
before you smothered your pizza in mayo you blotted it with a napkin saying you were trying to watch your fat intake
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
Randomize
