you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
I enjoy the company of your penis
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
Randomize
