Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
My dinner guests were so drunk they never realized that I inadvertantly put Frosted Mini Wheats on the salad instead of crutons.
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
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