is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
I just took a condom out of my purse and opened it in front of my entire family because I thought it was a wetnap. Way too hungover for family brunch.
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
Hey do you care to explain why there are 3 empty pickle jars next to me when I woke up or do I even wanna know?
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
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