I haven't been this sober since birth.
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
Now: to brush my teeth, put on my grandma slippers and earplugs, masturbate to 50 Shades and then PTFO
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
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