O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
pro-tip: weed infused snickerdoodles are far less conspicuous to eat at work than brownies. no one ever suspects the snickerdoodle.
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
I can feel your judgement through the phone
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
Randomize
