He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
A woman in the waiting room at the STD clinic told me that she is going to pray to jesus for my penis.
and people in Baltimore still get a bad wrap.
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
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