It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
I'm officially "accidentally set myself on fire" drunk
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
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