i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
I woke up hugging a loaf of bread and a water bottle this morning
My face left an imprint in the loaf...
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
Randomize
