did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
I hope you're ready because I look like an elf on crack had a baby in the medieval era and that baby grew up to be a whore
Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
Randomize
