im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
This morning I woke up in the entrance of a retirement home. Memory fragments from last night: making it rain with the contents of my wallet over the bridge, getting hit by a car, and a lot of running.
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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