To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
Randomize
