Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
just woke up in my car, in front of the bar. Took me 10 minutes to find my keys which were about 10 yards away in a bush. According to my phone records, I called my ex 14 times last night. Breakfast?
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
Randomize
