nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
Best thing I ever did was get a dog. She's like a living trip alarm to warn me of visitors while I'm masturbating.
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
My arm is completely dead, never again will i give you a 20 minute hand job. You better have enjoyed that asshole. I have to text with my left hand now.
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
Randomize
