Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
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