just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
Ended up passed out drunk in the neighbors lawn, still in costume. Neighbors thought I was a lawn decoration. Ten points for best Halloween ever.
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
I just did a drunk experiment to find out what it looks like when you turn a burner on the stove on while wearing night-vision goggles. I may be blind in my right eye now.
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize
