3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
please tell me that the half empty jar of cocktail sauce on the table has nothing to do with my missing seamonkeys
Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
Randomize
