I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
Parents said they were cutting off my AmEx card. So I immediately went up to the liquor store and purchased $550 of booze before it was canceled. I'm expecting your arrival in 30 minutes.
Putting a positive pregnancy test next to my condoms in my drawer so I remember why I always need to use condoms
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
I now know he's been cheating for a while. I also know HER name, address, phone number, Facebook account, religion and zodiac sign. I feel like I'm earning my restraining order. Point is, never fuck over a librarian.
Like every two minutes he would pull out and whipser "don't you do it, you bastard" while looking at his penis. His new name in my phone is 'penis whisperer'
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
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