Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
Randomize
