We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
The guy who took my order at mcdonalds asked for my number. I think we should start fucking fast food employees, they're easy and think we're goddesses.
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
Houston, we have a blender
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
So in the middle of making out, he decided to give me a breast exam. God I love dating a doctor. He saved me a $20 copay.
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
Randomize
