my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
We just set the fire alarm off with a fog machine. What's my first instinct? Finish my drink. I think I handled that correctly.
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
Randomize
