I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
I'm going to rape someone's good day.
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
Nothing quite says Coachella like me doing high yoga in the middle of a field by myself
Just fucked up my mustache shaving, gonna have to take it off because now it makes me look like a pedophile
FYI your old mustache made you look like a pedophile
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
No one will ever find true happiness until they have gotten stoned and taken off the bra they've been wearing all day.
You, my dear friend, are a poet of the deep mental longings of women worldwide.
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
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