I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
not ubering you a puppy
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
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