Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
I realized we pick a president more often than I get a blowjob
I had a dream about a turtle sitting on top of a horse skull. I'm certain its a symbol for my dead sex life. Trust me.
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
Randomize
