Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
Thanks to a poorly written tweet a whole bunch of people thought I died last night.
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
Randomize
