I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
So shortly after drunk sex...she starts crying and saying..." you don't care about me, you never do anything nice for me" so I called her a cab
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
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