Last night was a blur. All I remember is jizzing in the squeegee bucket at a gas station.
The look on the soccer mom's face was PRICELESS.
There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
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