I'm in my boyfriends bathroom and I shit so bad, there was no toilet paper but his mom's clothes were on the floor and I wiped my butt on her underwear... now it looks like she sharted
Your last day of twenties? OK. Then I'll give you til midnight. Then you turn into a pumpkin. A big, 30 year old pumpkin.
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
Randomize
