Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
Apparently telling a group of crying girls that it looks like they need a visit from Dr. Phil isn't the best pickup line.
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
Randomize
