god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
I can't even be mad at customs in houstons airport anymore for missing my flight and having to stay overnight. Within an hour of meeting we did it at her place. Her last word being "glad I could show you real southern hospitality". I'm definitely coming back here someday
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
Randomize
