A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
Is it appropriate to put "Mommy and Daddys shitfaced-ness that led to Aubrey" on a birth announcement?
Well you two just had a kid in the middle of college, I dont think anyone will notice.
Thanks bro
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
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