i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
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